My heart has been stirred for creativity lately.
I have been having crazy dreams as well as the urge to sit and write more often and currently have four nearly-finished pieces on my desktop waiting to be shared. I absolutely love it. Some of the times that I feel closest to God are when I’m writing. It’s like a direct line opens to carry His whispers from heaven to my ear, and I have a passionate drive to capture His words and presence while I feel Him near.

I was gearing up to share a new piece yesterday, but suddenly, got a new wave of thought and vision, and all but ran to my computer to start writing. Chris and I were supposed to be beginning our weekly date night, but I asked him if he could wait for me while I let the words flow.
In 15 minutes, I was done.

It’s totally different from what I usually write, although still conversational-style.
I’m excited to share but scared at the same time.
Writing is like bearing your heart…
But what would be the point of keeping my heart to myself?

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1.9.2015


“He Knows Her Name.”


She’s beautiful.

Every time her form comes into view, the sunlight gleaming off of her curves and edges, you smile. She’s familiar and comfortable, yet so mysterious.
There’s still so much to explore.

She’s intriguing.
She offers you a lifetime of adventure and doesn’t ask for much in return.
She never leaves you bored or hungry, yet you thirst to dive in deeper.
She beckons you to know every corner and winding alley of her heart.

She’s diverse.
She inspires you as you experience the depth of her personality.
The stories that describe her years of existence are of courage, creativity, and soul. She has allowed many to shape her into all that she is and all she hopes to become.

She’s broken.
She begs you not to leave her. In moments of fear and rage, her darkness in deep and hidden places is made visible. Everyone knows. You have now seen the evil she is capable of, and she cries out for you to stay anyway, unlike those before you.
She pleads with you to love her. To stay.

She’s witnessed this story before.
She cringed as she watched her once-popular and successful sister endure abandonment when her flaws were realized; watched as she became hopeless and more desperate, the weight of darkness crushing her once beautiful soul as year after year those she had loved and sheltered walked away and eventually failed to even look her direction.

“Please stay.”

You squint your eyes to try and see her beauty as you once did despite what you now know. Your heart pounds and aches to escape from the fear of it all – the next outburst or fit of rage, as it damages so much in its wake. The confrontations force you to inspect the blemishes within your own heart, but you just want to live your life in peace.
Can you find it here?

You want to run, but Something holds you still.
Through misty eyes, you see a flicker of light.
There is hope and desperation for freedom in her eyes. She aches for you to see this light that exists deep within her and fan the small flame until it bursts forth like a million glowing angels in song and drives out the darkness once and for all.

If only you will stay and love her, if only you will show her grace this time – and the next – and the next – she will begin to see clearly.
She will grow. Her once-hardened heart will be made new.
She will finally experience what it means to be loved.
She will see that her striving for perfection will only leave her disappointed and empty-handed. 
She will learn to forgive – because her identity and standard of beauty no longer rest on airbrushed perfection, but a raw reflection of grace.
She will be set free and her beauty will shine wildly, unhindered by darkness seeping out of forgotten corners and alleys of her pockmarked heart.

Fear will be snuffed out in conversations of understanding and humility.
She will stand tall and invite others to know and love her, and she will love them freely in return, reservations cast away with newfound trust.

She will no longer live in fear of abandonment, but in awe of the Stone Layer.
The One who made her.
The One you remind her of.

She knows that He will never leave.
He knows her name.

St. Louis.

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